Daisy Chains

I've been thinking back to the days of old

When you carried me in palms and never let a harm unfold 

Is it a blessing or a shame, that those moments fade away?

Do they make room for the new or will they pull us at the veins?

I've been reminiscing about the gestures overlooked

They came so organically, without declaration, I forgot to look in closer

You brushed my hair, you cooked me dinner, 

You still loved me as a sinner, and you took me in your arms when summer phased out into the winter

I've seen shards of polaroids of our portraits from the fall 

How we'd sellotape them back together, laugh at failures we've endured

I've heard the distal voices whisper to me, chalks coating the tongue, I will never forget all the lessons that you taught

As we crafted words through morning light then into waning moons

Exploring our self-expression until we'd filled the living room

With our creations from the pocket, from the mind and from the soul

Let the diamond dust surround us, let's look back on days of old

 

With our arms outstretched in the grass, fingers locked in grasp

That the roots they may uproot the past, but we will laugh and dance in rainy days 

We should have known better but we did our best 

To shrug off knotted limbs that’ll lurk in the chest 

There are so many things that could sow the mouthpiece shut

Through their hems, we will laugh it all off and make our daisy chains 

 

I've been recollecting snapshots of a lifetime by your side

When the speed bumps, formed in roads, would throw us off course just to find 

That when the lonely daybreaks, when you've reabsorbed the pages 

You can sentence the detention to the dark where it abides 

And so darling, on the hour, I collapse and think of you, I hope that when I'm gone the past disturbances stay glued, to the caverns and the chasms

So far away from homes containing blue sofas for two

I've heard rumours going around that we are only born to die, that no matter what we do we will become forlorn in time, 

I believe in parallels that you've allowed to form in mind 

That your spirits will live on if you have given more to life than you've taken and forsaken, where there are figures drawn from eye 

Retrospective illustrations sent to test the warping sighs 

Don't you dare feel bad that I have felt pain like you've seen

You can’t protect this youthful veteran from a world that roots in yellow bones

When I nurture scars, I feel more alive 

 

When I bid adieux, I wonder, what if I never see that smile again

I break, then the lonely tear on lashes magnifies the purest flashes of the past and I am proud to call mother

Take my love, stand above, all the uprooted homes survived, all the issues under rugs 

 

Remember running round Gloucester park, the climbing frames?

That would catch us as we fell and then we'd always rise again 

Blue eyes met blue eyes, crow’s eyes speak of heights we gained 

So we'd laugh it all off and remain the same 

 

I speak to the moon, on New Year's Eve, 

I speak to it of you and how I'm grateful for the years, 

I have never known a soul that has soothed more tears

Laughter lines etch into skin, a tribute to the butterfly’s wings

So let's enjoy these moments and we'll make our daisy chains 

 

About the poem

After relapsing in London I moved back into mum’s in Kent to get sober & be around the one person who’s never wavered in their love for me. After moving back to London, this became the first poem I would write after I instinctively called for her, to realise she wasn’t there. Feeling isolated I reflected upon distal memories of childhood & how our relationship endured much. Daisy Chains’ a tribute to “small things” that have big effects later, that even though they’re overlooked in the moment, they have longevity, they’re the core idiosyncrasy of any parent & child’s bond.

About Elric John Stockley
Elric is a poet and drag queen based in London. Frequenting the spoken word and nightclub scenes in his drag persona, Chai Latte, he tackles difficult topics such as forbidden love, homosexuality in society & femininity within gay men, citing his mother as his biggest influence.
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Colinflower
14th Feb, 2018